


Confessions dipped in gold

by Saphirsilber



Series: Confessions [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Asexual Huang Ren Jun, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:47:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24460795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saphirsilber/pseuds/Saphirsilber
Summary: „What?“, he asks because Renjun can basically see Donghyuck‘s fucking brain working and that’s really red flag number three, something is going on in that sick mind of Donghyuck‘s and Renjun isn’t sure if he wants to know what and- wait a second. „No!“, Renjun calls out and he’s honestly tempted to throw his sketchbook at his friend. „Don’t even consider it“.„I haven’t even said anything yet“, Donghyuck lifts his hands in a defensive gesture but there is this mischievous glint behind his eyes that tells Renjun that an idea has formed inside of Donghyuck‘s head and that he’s not going to let this one go so easily.Alternatively: Donghyuck is horny and Renjun is curious.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan
Series: Confessions [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759681
Comments: 24
Kudos: 236





	Confessions dipped in gold

**Author's Note:**

> Hello people, I just came back home after getting absolutely shitfaced together with my asexual friend and somehow this happened, so enjoy 10,000+ words of absolute filth!  
> ~ Saphirsilber ♥️

Huang Renjun is not a dumb boy. He might not have Chenle’s straight A‘s or Jisungs impressive GPA and he’s never been a class president like Mark. He might not be considered academically smart, but Renjun knows things. 

For example, right now he knows that Donghyuck is up to something. Don’t get him wrong, Donghyuck is up to something about ninety percent of the time and from experience Renjun knows that this look on Donghyuck‘s face means trouble. The strange thing is that this time, it’s just the two of them on the rooftop of their apparent complex. 

Ever since they moved in, Renjun developed the habit of watching the sunset on the rooftop and most of the time he’s alone. Which is totally fine, actually, Renjun even enjoys this small break he gets from their usual loud, hectic day. He takes one of his sketchbooks with him and doodles until the night becomes too dark to see anything and then he returns to their mess of a dorm. It’s only recently that Donghyuck started to join him sometimes. 

Which is also totally fine, as long as Donghyuck shuts up and lets Renjun do his thing. The only problem is, that Donghyuck really, really enjoys hearing himself talk and literally never shuts up, just like right now. 

„I‘ve been thinking“, he begins and this is definitely the second red flag. Nothing good ever follows when Donghyuck uses the words „I‘ve been thinking“. (Renjun should know, he saw Donghyuck convincing Jeno to eat a snail once). 

Renjun raises his head in a silent prayer to whatever higher force there might be that Donghyuck‘s next words are not going to ruin his evening because so far, he had kind of a good day. 

„You and me, we‘re actually not that different“, Donghyuck props himself up from where he had been laying on the dirty pavement. The light of the slowly setting sun paints his skin even more golden and it’s really nice to look at. Renjun wishes it was possible for him to dip a paintbrush into his skin and paint all those shades of gold on a paper. 

„What do you mean?“, he asks because Donghyuck and him are pretty much each other’s complete opposite. Starting from Donghyuck‘s golden skin that doesn’t compare to Renjun‘s pale silver and and ending with Donghyuck‘s bright personality that doesn’t match Renjun‘s sarcastic-pessimistic one. 

„Sex“, Donghyuck deadpans and Renjun furrows his eyebrows. 

„We’re a difference like day and night when it comes to sex“, Renjun replies and turns back to his doodles. It’s a sun and a moon and Renjun thinks that it’s a good comparison to him and Donghyuck. Bright, golden shining Donghyuck and pale silver lighted Renjun. 

„No, we‘re like 11am and 1pm on a clock“, Donghyuck turns his head to look at Renjun and he has this intense look in his eyes that Renjun doesn’t like. „People think we‘re so far away from each other and yet, we’re actually really close. Just on the opposite ends“. 

„I don’t know where you wanna get at?“, Renjun says and looks back at Donghyuck. He’s good at that, holding eye contact with Donghyuck that is, he might be the only person on this whole planet who can hold his gaze even when Donghyuck looks at him like  _ that _ .

Donghyuck smiles. „I mean that sex isn’t that big of a deal for both of us“, he explains and he has this smug expression on his face that makes Renjun want to slap him. 

„Yeah, but with the difference that you fucking love sex and I don’t“, he argues. It’s getting a bit chilly on the rooftop now that the sun‘s warm light is slowly disappearing but Renjun doesn’t mind. The concrete is still warm enough for him. 

„Do you hate it?“, Donghyuck asks, curiously. 

Renjun shrugs. „I don’t hate it. But it’s also nothing that I really get, just…“, he trails off, searching for a comparison that will make it easier to understand for someone like Donghyuck. „Think of it like a chore. Like taking your vitamins or doing the dishes“.

Donghyuck hums. „It’s more than that though“. 

„For you maybe“, Renjun draws a little cloud to the moon and the sun. Now they look kind of like a cute, happy family. 

„It is“, Donghyuck insists. „It’s a way of showing affection, a bit like hugs but more intimate. Like emotional intimacy“.

Renjun thinks about that for a moment. Donghyuck might be right, Renjun isn’t really a fan of physical affection either but he hugs and cuddles with his friends as well. Not a big deal. 

„I guess“, he mutters. Despite Renjun‘s cold exterior he likes giving his friends affection weather that means he’s running to the grocery store at an ungodly hour just to get Mark some milk because they ran out or tolerating Jaemin clinging onto him while they’re watching a movie. 

„So sex is for both of us more a way of showing affection“, Donghyuck concludes. „And we both don’t make a fuss about it because we don’t really care, right?“

„Right“, Renjun says and then fills the rest of the page with small stars.

It takes him a few minutes to notice that Donghyuck is weirdly quiet and when he puts his pen down to raise his head in suspicion, he finds the other one already looking at him. 

„What?“, he asks because Renjun can basically see Donghyuck‘s fucking brain working and that’s really red flag number three, something is going on in that sick mind of Donghyuck‘s and Renjun isn’t sure if he wants to know what and- wait a second. „No!“, Renjun calls out and he’s honestly tempted to throw his sketchbook at his friend. „Don’t even consider it“. 

„I haven’t even said anything yet“, Donghyuck lifts his hands in a defensive gesture but there is this mischievous glint behind his eyes that tells Renjun that an idea has formed inside of Donghyuck‘s head and that he’s not going to let this one go so easily.

„And I don’t want you to say it“, he glares at Donghyuck and shuts his sketchbook with more force than needed. It’s becoming too dark anyways. „In fact, I don’t even want you to think about it!“ 

„Thinking about what?“, Donghyuck looks at Renjun with an innocent expression that’s as fake as Donnatella Versace‘s breasts. 

„Sex with me“, Renjun blurts out because he’s never been someone to get embarrassed about these kinds of things. 

„I wasn’t thinking about it… “

„Yes you were. This conversation is over!“

„But Injunnie!“, Donghyuck whines but Renjun has years of training to resist his puppy eyes and he’s not going to give in, not to Donghyuck and his ridiculous request. „Aren’t you curious about it?“

Well, Renjun is, a tiny little bit. It would be nice to know what everyone is making such a fuss about but at the same time Renjun already knows he’s never going to get it. Sex doesn‘t do the same things for him as it does for people like Donghyuck. 

„Are you curious about what this sketchbook will feel like when it’s shoved up your ass?“, he replies instead, because he won’t let Donghyuck know that he’s a little bit right. 

„Is that a yes?“

„You’re insufferable!“

„Oh come on“, Donghyuck begs and Renjun thinks that this might be the most bizarre situation he’s ever been in with Donghyuck (and that includes the one time Donghyuck got his hand stuck in a pickle jar). „I’m horny, you’re curious and we both won’t be weird about it later. Plus, I‘m one of your best friends and also  _ very _ experienced, so this is probably the best opportunity you’re ever going to get“. 

Renjun hates to admit it, but Donghyuck might be right again. Out of all people, it would be the easiest with Donghyuck, they trust each other, they like each other, Donghyuck  _ does _ have a lot of experience (Renjun wishes he wouldn’t know just  _ how _ experienced Donghyuck is but well) and most importantly: Donghyuck won’t be upset or even hurt if Renjun isn’t going to enjoy himself. 

„Fine“, he says and gets up. 

„Wait, really?“, Donghyuck asks and he seems so surprised that Renjun has to suppress a giggle. 

„What, did you change your mind already?“, Renjun teasingly raises an eyebrow at him. 

„Of course not. I just wasn’t expecting it would be so easy to convince you“, Donghyuck admits. 

„It’s just like a hug“, Renjun shrugs and packs up his things. 

———

„I‘m nervous“, Donghyuck admits after he lit up the shitty candles on his desk („I‘m trying to make this romantic for you, Renjun“. Renjun told him that he doesn’t really give a shit about this being romantic or not and gives a lot of shits about not burning down the dorm but Donghyuck had ignored him). 

„Why the fuck are you nervous, you‘ve done this thousands of times“, Renjun says as Donghyuck takes a seat next to him. He wonders if the sheets he’s sitting on are clean but considering what’s about to happen it doesn’t really matter anyways. 

„Yeah but it’s different now“, Donghyuck says and looks at Renjun again with this intense look in his eyes. „You’re important“. 

„Stop making this weird“, Renjun shoves Donghyuck from the bed onto the floor because even if he’s not going to admit it, he’s nervous as well. He hopes that this isn’t going to be the worst hookup Donghyuck has ever had and Renjun prays that he’s not going to freak out at some point. 

_ Calm down, Huang _ , he thinks.  _ This is just Donghyuck _ . 

„Remember, if you’re feeling uncomfortable with something or want to stop just say the word“. 

„Yeah I know, let‘s just get this started, my drama comes on TV in an hour so hurry up“, he urges. 

„Okay“, Donghyuck breathes out. „Let’s start easy, yeah? I‘ll hold your hand“. 

Donghyuck takes his hand. It’s nothing unordinary, they‘ve done this before, the only difference is the context but it honestly feels just the same. 

„What does it feel like?“, Donghyuck asks and Renjun gets the suspicion that maybe Donghyuck is even more curious than himself.

„Normal“, Renjun shrugs. „A bit sweaty but other than that it’s okay“. 

Donghyuck huffs and leans forward to place his other palm on Renjun‘s leg, just above his knee. „What about now?“. 

Usually, this would probably be the point where Renjun would swat Donghyuck‘s hand away, not because it feels bad but because he’s invading Renjun‘s personal space now. He reminds himself that that’s the whole point of this scenario and just lets it happen. It doesn’t feel good but it’s not a bad feeling either. Donghyuck‘s hand is just there. 

Renjun shrugs again and looks at Donghyuck with a questioning gaze. „I’m fine“, he says and Donghyuck smirks. 

„I’m going to kiss you, okay?“

Renjun nods and then Donghyuck is  _ really _ in his space, blocking his vision and then there are Donghyuck‘s lips on his. It’s a bit awkward because Renjun doesn’t really know what to do with himself, so he just tries to mirror whatever Donghyuck is doing. About halfway through the kiss, it appears to him that he should probably close his eyes instead of staring at Donghyuck‘s way too close face like some psychopath. Donghyuck’s lips feel okay. They’re sticky with chapstick and a little wet from spit but plush and warm, nothing special but again, not unpleasant. 

They break apart. 

„And?“, Donghyuck asks and looks at Renjun like an excited puppy. 

„Wet“, Renjun answers. „A bit sticky and gross but not in a bad way“.

„Alright then“, Donghyuck says and then he dives back in, this time a lot more eager. 

Now the kiss isn’t just a little wet but drenched in spit and to be honest, that’s more than just a bit gross. But Renjun has read that exchanging spit is good for the immune system, so this isn’t a complete loss, he supposes. It’s still a bit awkward, Donghyuck has his hands all over him, grabbing his neck with one and his hair with the other (and Renjun just settles for the others tiny waist because he doesn’t know where else to put his own hands). Donghyuck greedily pushes against him, licking and sucking on his lip and Renjun isn’t sure what exactly he’s doing but he decides to just roll with it. Then Donghyuck bites his bottom lip, not too hard but the sting is there and Renjun pulls back. 

„What the fuck, Hyuck!“, he complains and testingly swipes his thumb over his lip. He hasn’t drawn blood at least, but he can feel that his lips are swollen and slick with spit.

„Sorry“, Donghyuck snickers and he doesn’t look sorry at all. „You weren‘t opening your mouth so I wanted to encourage you a bit“.

„You could have just asked, Jeez“, Renjun rolls his eyes and he can tell by the look on his face that Donghyuck is about to throw back a witty response but before he can get a single word out, Renjun cuts him off with another kiss. 

It effectively shuts Donghyuck up and Renjun thinks that maybe he should do this more often, he would do them all a favor, honestly. 

He obediently opens his mouth and Donghyuck doesn’t waste a second to sneak his tongue into Renjun‘s mouth, licking and exploring and cheekily poking his own tongue. And Renjun is kind of competitive and he won’t let Donghyuck win this fight for dominance, so he pushes his tongue back, licking at Donghyuck‘s mouth and then, just because he feels a rash of confidence (and because he really wants to come back at Donghyuck), he gently bites onto Donghyuck‘s bottom lip. 

His revenge backfires: Renjun wasn‘t expecting Donghyuck to fucking  _ whimper  _ and melt into the kiss like ice cream on a hot summer day. There’s a weird emotion flaring up inside of him, it’s not arousal but a strange feeling of satisfaction and pride (and Renjun thinks that maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea because he can make use of that. While Donghyuck is going to get all riled up, Renjun is going to stay unbothered and to be honest, he has always been a little sadistic). 

Renjun gets bold and lets his hands roam. He lets them wander up to Donghyuck‘s hair and experimentally tugs on the roots which earns him a small noise, something between a whine and a moan and Renjun can’t help but grin into the kiss. Donghyuck‘s hair feels dry and damaged and he makes a mental note to pick up the special conditioner next time he’s going to go to the supermarket. Then he moves his other hand to grab Donghyuck‘s ass because that’s something he’s seen in a porno so he guesses that this is what people do. It feels weird though, to just sit there and grope his friends' ass even though Donghyuck pushes back into his touch, so Renjun settles for exploring Donghyuck’s chest and stomach instead. 

It’s just like he’s expected: warm and a bit soft because Donghyuck might be athletic but he isn’t as bulky as Jaemin or Jeno. 

Donghyuck’s own hand has snuck underneath the thin fabric of Renjun‘s shirt at some point and wanders up to one of his nipples, thumbing over it. Again, kind of weird but not a bad feeling. Not particularly good either though, it’s just really awkward so Renjun grabs Donghyuck‘s wrist to put his hand back onto his waist. 

Donghyuck breaks the kiss then, so he can kiss along Renjun‘s jaw (he’s going to pay extra attention to his skincare routine tonight) to his neck. 

„Don’t leave a mark or I‘m going to slap you“, Renjun threatens. 

He can feel Donghyuck silently chuckling into the crook of his neck. „Is that a promise?“, his lips are brushing against Renjun‘s skin as he speaks. „Because I‘m kinda into that“.

„Yeah“, Renjun pulls a grimace and pushes him a bit. „Fuck you“. 

„That’s the whole point of it, sweetheart“, Donghyuck says with a smug smile on his lips and then pushes Renjun into his mattress, straddling him too fast for him to react and oh, this is awkward. 

Donghyuck isn‘t completely hard (yet) but he’s definitely spotting a semi and Renjun is kind of surprised how riled up he’s gotten from just a bit of kissing. He testingly rocks his hips up, just a bit as if he was trying to get comfortable on the bed and Donghyuck hisses, biting his lip and throwing his head back. 

Renjun isn‘t quite sure how to feel about that, on one hand it makes him feel powerful and confident but on the other hand it makes him feel bad because he’s just lying underneath Donghyuck, a very pretty boy, completely unaffected. He isn’t even sure if he‘ll be able to get hard enough for anything to happen on his side. 

Donghyuck seems to sense Renjun‘s hesitation. „You’re still good?“, he asks and Renjun has to admit that it’s really sweet how Donghyuck is checking in on him again and again, making sure that he’s still comfortable. 

„I’m not sure“, he admits. 

„Do you want to stop?“, Donghyuck is about to climb down from him but Renjun stops him. 

„No“, he quickly reassures. „It’s just that you’re already…“, he doesn’t finish his sentence and instead lets his gaze drop down to Donghyuck’s crotch area. 

„Yeah“, Donghyuck breathes out shakily. 

„Does it…“, Renjun testingly rolls his hips again and it has the desired effect on Donghyuck (Renjun marvels at how sensitive he is), „Does it feel good?“

It’s not that Renjun never gets hard, he does. But it’s a bother to be honest, he tried jerking off a few times (which felt nice- kind of like taking a bath after a long day) but most of the time he just waits for it to go away instead of acting upon it. It seems to be completely different for Donghyuck though. 

He gulps. „Really good, Injun“, he admits and hey that’s something, right? If Renjun can’t feel particularly aroused, he can at least make Donghyuck feel good (it’s easier than he expected it to be but Donghyuck‘s body is like a piano that Renjun can play: he just needs to find the keys). 

He sits up again and then, in one swift motion, manhandles Donghyuck so that now he’s the one straddling him. Renjun might not get off on this but he does enjoy the control he temporarily has over Donghyuck. It’s not hot or sexy or arousing but it’s a nice change. He wonders if he can make Donghyuck fall apart underneath him. 

„Alright then“, is the last thing Renjun says before connecting their lips again. He’s gotten used to the feeling of kissing Donghyuck by now, it’s just like a hug but with their lips: a bit too close for Renjun‘s liking but other than that it’s nice to have another warm body so close to him. 

He has always been someone to freeze rather fast and he still feels a bit chilly from the rooftop, so he decides to take advantage of Donghyuck‘s soft, warm, golden skin. He sneaks one of his cold hands underneath Donghyuck’s shirt, which earns him another hiss. The body underneath him squirms but he doesn’t try to get away from Renjun‘s lingering touch, so he takes that as a good sign. 

Donghyuck’s hands are resting on Renjun‘s waist now. He isn’t touching him, at least not how Donghyuck probably touches his usual partners and Renjun is honestly thankful for that. Donghyuck just lets him do his thing, curiously feeling the body in front of him up. 

It’s kinda surprising how easily Donghyuck submits to him because usually he wouldn’t. Donghyuck and Renjun are always bickering, always competing, always in friendly fights so this is new, a complete new side of Donghyuck and Renjun likes that side. He can definitely see what Donghyuck meant when he said that sex means emotional intimacy as well. Right now, Donghyuck is so vulnerable underneath Renjun, it’s almost scary (and he realizes that this means a lot of trust on Donghyuck’s side too). 

Renjun has always been curious and now he has an entire other (very respo) body to explore. He lets his hand wander up the expanse of Donghyuck’s soft belly and up to one of his nipples, copying whatever Donghyuck did to him a few minutes ago. Renjun thought that this time, he knows what to expect as a reaction but Donghyuck surprises him again. When his fingers brush against his nipple, Donghyuck fucking  _ moans _ , a full blown, real moan that could make porn stars blush, his hands fly up from Renjun‘s hips to cover Renjun‘s hand over the fabric, pressing his fingers rougher against Donghyuck‘s skin. His hips buck up, as if Donghyuck lost a bit of the control over his own body and gave it to Renjun. 

Renjun smiles into their kiss, it’s not that he gets off on being in control but it’s a good feeling, just like the pride that Donghyuck trusts him enough to do this, to let himself go like this. 

„Can I remove your shirt?“, Donghyuck sounds a bit breathless and that fuels the weird feeling of satisfaction inside of Renjun. 

Except that this means shit is about to get serious and Renjun panics a little bit. So far, all they’ve done is a little kissing, a little touching and it honestly feels more like cuddling. Taking his shirt off will add even more intimacy and vulnerability than there already is and Renjun doesn’t really like to be that exposed with other people. He’s not a prude but that doesn’t mean he has to chill with his dick out in the presence of his friends. 

So Renjun hesitates. 

„We can stop here, if you want to“, Donghyuck offers again but Renjun is quick to shake his head in protest. „Or we don’t have to stop entirely. We could just leave our clothes on and continue what we’re already doing, or we could go further, without all the naked skin“. 

Renjun considers that, right now kissing Donghyuck is okay and teasing Donghyuck is nice but Renjun is curious and he wants to see if going further will do anything for him (more than just a comfortable feeling) so he shakes his head again. He trusts Donghyuck and besides that, they’re doing this for intimacy, for getting closer towards each other and Renjun thinks that if Donghyuck isn’t afraid to show vulnerability, then he shouldn’t be either. 

„I’m fine“, he reassures and then raises his arms over his head so Donghyuck can take his shirt off. The cold night hits his skin and Renjun can feel himself getting goosebumps. It’s awkward, a bit because Donghyuck is still wearing his shirt, but mostly because of the way Donghyuck looks at him. 

It’s a hungry gaze, Donghyuck takes in all of Renjun, sucks it all up like a starving man. His hands go back to his waist and then to his shoulder and Donghyuck feels up Renjun‘s naked skin and it’s weird. Donghyuck’s eyes are heavy, there is something behind then that Renjun can’t put his finger on. He’s biting his bottom lip and Renjun realizes that it’s arousal, Donghyuck likes to see Renjun‘s exposed skin, he gets off on this and Renjun is a bit embarrassed. 

„Stop staring, loser“, he says and tucks demandingly on the hem of Donghyuck’s shirt, partly to make it even on the loss- of- clothes- side, partly to break Donghyuck’s burning stare. 

„You’re pretty Injun“, Donghyuck smiles up at him and Renjun is fucking blushing with nowhere to hide his blush because his fucking clothes are gone. 

„Shut up“, he says and does what he found out to be an effective method to ensure Donghyuck’s lips are busy with things other than talking: he kisses him. Renjun thinks that this might be his favorite part of kissing (because it’s not that often that Donghyuck shuts up). 

They kiss, it’s wet, it’s messy but at least it’s warm because Renjun begins to freeze in the cold air of the night and Donghyuck is radiating heat like a mini-sun. And then, just because he can, Renjun ruts down again which forces another moan out of Donghyuck. He uses this distraction to get rid of Donghyuck’s shirt and then it’s just a sea of golden skin. 

Renjun is an artist, he‘s always been told that he has a sense for aesthetics and Donghyuck is already beautiful when he’s clothed but he’s even more stunning like this, Renjun can admit that (but he would rather not do it out loud). Again, seeing Donghyuck like that isn’t sexy or hot but it’s a nice sight that he can enjoy. He briefly imagines round, plush breasts, where Donghyuck’s chest is all flat and golden skin, but he can’t really say he prefers the sight or thought of either. There are moles littered all over Donghyuck’s skin like stars are littered all over the sky on a starry night, bruises blooming over Donghyuck’s chest from his past lovers like rain clouds and Renjun takes his time to touch them, pressing his fingers into them which makes Donghyuck whimper breathlessly. 

He can’t really find it in himself to lick or kiss them, because while Renjun technically knows that hundreds of anonymous mouths have tasted this golden skin, it’s painfully obvious that there was a strangers lips at those spots (and it’s already enough that he exchanged this much spit with Donghyuck, he doesn’t need a third person involuntarily join them). However, he does bend down to kiss some of his moles just because he can and just because they’re pretty and Renjun would be embarrassed at this cheesy gesture but he can’t. Not when Donghyuck‘s gentle grip in his hair pulls his mouth even closer to his chest with a sigh. At least he seems to do this somewhat right. 

Renjun finds out that Donghyuck doesn’t really have one spot that he likes more than others, Donghyuck just likes to be touched and it doesn’t really matter if that’s his hair or his neck or his waist. Wherever Renjun lips or fingers touch his skin, he leans into the touch. Reminding himself of Donghyuck’s positive reaction when he bit his bottom lip, he carefully lets his teeth graze against one of his shoulders, apparently another good decision he notes, when Donghyuck bucks his hips up again and his grip in Renjun‘s hair tightens. 

„Renjun, please“, Donghyuck whimpers and Renjun pulls back, to look at his face in surprise. 

Donghyuck is already so affected and Renjun barely even did anything. His skin is shining with a thin layer of sweat, his lips are swollen and in one spot bleeding slightly from where he must have bitten it too hard, his dark locks clinging onto his forehead and his pupils are blown so wide that Renjun could think Donghyuck just snorted three lines of cocaine. The one hand that’s not touching Renjun is gripping tightly onto his sheets, so hard that his knuckles are turning white. 

„What’s the matter?“, he asks in honest confusion. Does Donghyuck want to stop? Maybe he’s not enjoying this as much as Renjun thinks or maybe he’s not doing a good enough job? Oh god, did he misinterpret this entire situation and hurt Donghyuck?

„Touch me please“, Donghyuck begs and well, that’s a positive request, right? It means that Renjun is doing well, or perhaps just okay but he does want him to continue either way. 

The only problem is that Renjun is a little clueless about what to do because he just touched Donghyuck? His gaze falls down to where their bodies connect, where Donghyuck’s arousal is even more obvious and he wonders if this is the moment where he’s supposed to literally get into Donghyuck‘s pants. 

Suddenly, his nervousness is back. Now this is definitely something that friends don’t usually do, especially not Renjun and he doesn’t know how to touch Donghyuck so he will feel good. Surprisingly, he’s not grossed out by the thought of touching Donghyuck down there, instead he’s curious about how Donghyuck will react and a bit worried about whether or not it’s going to be satisfying enough for him. 

„You don’t have to-“, Donghyuck begins but he’s cut off by his own moan when Renjun just decides,  _ fuck it _ , and presses his hands over the bulge of Donghyuck’s pants (and Renjun thinks that there’s no way it feels as good as Donghyuck makes it seem). He does it again, this time with more confidence. 

„Fuck, Renjun!“, Donghyuck curses and his hands dig into Renjun‘s naked shoulders. He almost forgot about the part where he got rid of his shirt, too investigated into Donghyuck and the way he’s squirming underneath him. This is kinda nice. The power he holds over Donghyuck is both scary and appealing to him. If Donghyuck likes his touch so much with the fabric of his jeans and underwear in between them, Renjun wonders just how much he’s going to enjoy it once his pants are removed. 

He’s already about to fumble the belt of Donghyuck’s skinny jeans open when it occurs to him that consent is probably a good idea even though he doesn’t think Donghyuck has anything against it. 

„Can we take this off?“, he asks. 

„Hurry up“, is what Donghyuck replies with and Renjun rolls his eyes. 

„Help me a bit then“, he orders and Donghyuck compiles, raising his hips a bit and eagerly pushing down his pants and wow, this is new. Donghyuck is always whiny but never pilant and that’s a nice change. 

Renjun struggles a bit with the ankles, partly because these jeans are such a tight fit, partly because Donghyuck can’t seem to keep still. He puts a hand on Donghyuck’s thigh and forces his legs to keep motionless with a sharp „Stop moving around“. 

Donghyuck shivers at his touch and whines shakily in protest but follows Renjun‘s request nonetheless. 

„Jeez, why do you keep buying these jeans?“, Renjun mutters and tries to untangle the fabric so it will loosen up around his legs. 

„‘Cause I look good in ‘em“, Donghyuck explains and leans forward so he can help Renjun with the feisty piece of clothing. He’s a lot more careless about what happens with his jeans and Renjun hears fabric tear before they finally come off. 

„You ruined your pants“, he scolds because Renjun just knows that Donghyuck is going to whine about how he has no jeans to wear in two weeks and will end up „borrowing“ Jaemin‘s. Now that he thinks about it, this pair of jeans look awfully like the pair Jaemin has been missing for over a month. 

„Doesn’t matter“, Donghyuck grabs Renjun‘s neck to smash their lips together and Renjun thinks that it’s an easy thing for him to say when those pants didn’t even belong to him in the first place. 

Since his lips are occupied he makes a mental note to give Donghyuck shit for his behavior later, when they both have more clothes on. They have more urgent matters to take care of at the moment. Renjun‘s hands wander down the smooth curve of Donghyuck’s waist, searching for the hem of his underwear but where fabric should cover Donghyuck‘s dignity, his fingertips meet only soft, golden skin and it takes Renjun a moment to realize what that means. 

He pulls back and a quick glance towards Donghyuck’s southern regions confirms his suspicion. 

„You’re not wearing any underwear?!“, he calls out in disbelief. 

„Not my fault“, Donghyuck defends himself. „Jisung didn’t do the laundry so I had no choice! Besides that, Jaemin has no ass, so underwear doesn’t fit underneath these pants anyways“. 

Renjun opens his mouth to say something, maybe to scold him but there is no sound coming out. Because Donghyuck is right in front of him, he’s naked and very obviously aroused and while that’s sadly not the first time he sees Donghyuck like that, it’s the first time that he’s the one in between his legs. Truthfully, the first time he’s between anyone’s legs. 

„You still good?“, Donghyuck furrows his eyebrows in concern. 

To be honest, Renjun feels a bit nauseous. Donghyuck isn‘t gross, this entire situation doesn’t gross him out but it’s a lot. Donghyuck is a lot. 

„I…“, Renjun begins but it’s difficult to find words that could describe his feelings. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. It’s just Donghyuck, after all. Donghyuck, who did this a hundred times before, there is no need to be scared because Donghyuck knows what to do and he’s going to take the lead. Nothing to worry about. 

„Do you need a break?“, Donghyuck asks and Renjun thinks that it’s really nice of him to suggest a pause when he’s obviously all riled up and bothered. 

Nevertheless, he shakes his head. „Tell me what you like“, he says and finally opens his eyes again. They meet Donghyuck’s, filled with worry and an amount of affection that Renjun can’t handle right now. 

He dives forward, kissing Donghyuck again and again, clinging onto him for support and Donghyuck kisses him back, holds him and grounds him (despite being the one who’s responsible for his emotional agitation in the first place) until Renjun calms down again. When he doesn’t feel like hyperventilating anymore, he reaches down to where Donghyuck is probably still hard but his hand gets stopped by Donghyuck’s lean fingers around his wrist. 

„Let’s take a cuddle-break, okay?“, he whispers against Renjun‘s lips. He’s still so close that Renjun can feel his breath on his cheek and he leans forward so that their foreheads are touching. 

„Okay“, Renjun breathes out and for a moment, they stay like this until Donghyuck gently pushes him back so that they’re laying down on his bed, Donghyuck on top of Renjun, curled around him like a way too large cat. Except that Donghyuck doesn’t purr and is still lacking a significant amount of clothes. 

„Okay come on“, he pushes Donghyuck a bit. „No naked cuddles, at least put on sweatpants or something“. 

„What kind of sense does that make? You were about to touch me naked anyways...“

„In a completely different context! Now get some pants or get off the bed!“

„It’s my bed“, Donghyuck grumbles but scrambles over to the pile of clothes on the floor nonetheless, mumbling something along the lines of Renjun being „a fucking prude“ and the lifestyle of „freeing the balls“. 

When he comes back, he’s wearing grey sweatpants and-

„Are those mine?“, Renjun calls out disbelief. 

„Uhm, no?“, Donghyuck offers but it’s not really convincing. 

„Yes they are!“, Renjun can‘t fucking believe it, that little shit stole not only Jaemin’s but also his pants! „Look, they have the hole in the right leg from where Chenle tried to roast marshmallows over the bonfire but almost accidentally set me on fire“, he points out. „Oh my god, are you still not wearing any underwear?“

„Well“, Donghyuck begins and then pauses. „No“.

„You son of a- get the fuck overe here, I‘m going to whoop your ass for this!“, Renjun launches forward but Donghyuck jumps back with a shriek and before he knows it, he’s chasing the pants-thief around his room. 

„I‘m sorry, I‘m sorry, I swear it was a mistake!“, Donghyuck cries out and jumps onto the bed, trying to fight Renjun off with one of his pillows. 

„A mistake!“, Renjun repeats angrily and dodges the attack. 

He tries to throw himself at Donghyuck, but his leg gets caught up in the cable of Donghyuck’s bedside lamp and it falls onto the ground with a loud thud (the lamp, not Renjun‘s leg, thankfully). Renjun is lucky enough to land on the bed, pulling a startled Donghyuck down with him and he uses Donghyuck perplexion to pin him face down onto the mattress. 

„You’re gonna pay for this“, Renjun breathlessly announces and lands a hard slap on Donghyuck’s ass. 

It’s not the first time that he slaps Donghyuck’s ass but it’s the first time he gets a moan instead of the usual whining and complaining back. Renjun stills, he completely forgot what they were up to just a few minutes ago and he looks at Donghyuck with wide eyes. 

„Sorry, I‘m sorry“, Donghyuck blushes. „I didn’t mean to but I  _ told _ you that I’m into-“

Renjun doesn‘t let him finish, he cuts him off with another harsh slap and this time Donghyuck jostles. 

„W-what are you doing?“, Donghyuck stutters, trying to free himself from Renjun‘s grip. 

To be honest, Renjun doesn’t have an answer to that question. He considers telling Donghyuck something like punishing him for being a bad boy but those words sound cringy and weird even in his head and the truth is, Renjun is just curious about what a little spanking will do for Donghyuck. 

He shushes Donghyuck and lands another slap on his ass and despite Donghyuck trying to press his lips together, a strangled sound escapes him along with an involuntary rut against Renjun‘s thigh and alright. Donghyuck is still hard but that’s not Renjun‘s priority right now. 

„Take my fucking pants off“, he orders and Renjun doesn’t think he ever saw Donghyuck move so fast. Now he’s naked again and when Renjun‘s hand meets Donghyuck’s ass cheeks, a very loud slap cuts the silence in the room. 

Renjun flinches because that just can’t feel good but Donghyuck moans again, throwing his head back so forcefully that Renjun is scared he’s going to break his neck. 

„Is that what you like?“, he asks and it probably doesn’t sound very sexy and instead confused. 

„Yeah“, Donghyuck’s voice is hoarse and okay, who is Renjun to judge him. If this is what Donghyuck wants, Donghyuck can get it. 

So Renjun slaps his ass again, cheeks jiggling like those jello shots Chenle loves. Donghyuck seems to enjoy himself and Renjun takes his whimper as his cue to deliver two more slaps, this time even harder.

They carry on like that for a few minutes, Donghyuck getting more and more desperate with each slap of Renjun‘s flat hand against his bare ass and Renjun wonders if Donghyuck could come from this alone. He decides that he doesn’t want to find out, partly because he’s getting bored and partly because his palm starts to hurt. When he stops, Donghyuck‘s ass is as red as the lobsters they ate on Mark‘s birthday two weeks ago. He hopes that it’s not going to bruise and gently caresses the swollen cheeks. Then he realizes that he’s petting Donghyuck‘s ass and pulls back a bit. 

„Can you turn around?“, Renjun asks and taps against Donghyuck‘s hips.

Donghyuck winces a bit when his abused ass makes contact with the mattress but he obeys. His face is as red as his bottom and his eyes are a bit wet, the spanking must have hurt like a bitch and Renjun wishes Donghyuck would have said something. 

„Sorry“, Renjun blushes, he wasn’t realizing how much he was wrecking Donghyuck. He reaches up to carefully cup one of his cheeks with his hands and places a quick peck on his lips. 

„Don’t apologize“, Donghyuck mutters. „It was hot“. 

Renjun grimaces but honestly, whatever does the trick for Donghyuck. „What else?“, he asks. „What else do you need?“

„You“, Donghyuck blurts out and kisses him again. Renjun is a bit baffled because he doesn’t think that he can give himself to Donghyuck but the the latter rocks down against his crotch again and well, maybe he doesn’t need Renjun to do anything but lay here pilant and quiet while Donghyuck gets off by rutting against the rough fabric of his jeans. 

„Renjun“, Donghyuck moans but there’s surprise in his voice as well. 

„What?“, he asks and follows Donghyuck‘s gaze down to where he‘s been trying to get off on Renjun. „Oh“.

Right where Donghyuck’s erection is touching the fabric of his jeans, there is a small tent. Renjun is about to get hard, his body is probably reacting to all the friction Donghyuck‘s rutting provides. He knows that’s just a natural process, after all this is how his dick is meant to react. It’s just that Renjun is surprised. Subjectively, he still doesn’t feel any arousal. 

„Well“, he says and experimentally rutts against Donghyuck. It feels good, kind of like a massage. 

„Shit, can I take off your pants?“, Donghyuck looks like he’s about to lose his mind. Over a dick, Renjun‘s dick and that’s a bit hilarious. 

„Go ahead“, Renjun shrugs because it’s not like there’s anything special in between his legs but Donghyuck looks like a child on christmas when he’s opening his trousers like a gift. And then he looks like Santa got him a fucking Rolex or something and it’s all just because Renjun is laying on his bed with his dick out and that’s so surreal for Renjun that he can’t surpress his laughter. 

„What?“, Donghyuck asks and finally looks back up at Renjun‘s face. He blinks a few times, as if he had just been hypnotized by Renjun‘s cock and has troubles with coming back to reality. It’s as endearing as it’s ridiculous. 

„Nothing“, Renjun assures because he’s sure that he’s going to kill the mood if he tells Donghyuck about his thoughts. „Try not to drool on me“. 

Donghyuck pouts. 

„What’s wrong?“, Renjun asks, briefly worried that he said the wrong thing. Ugh, he’s just not really skilled in this whole dirtytalk stuff. 

„I wanted to suck you off“, Donghyuck confesses and he’s still pouting. 

And wow, Renjun wasn’t expecting that. To be honest, he always figured that a blowjob only really benefits one person, and that this person is the one getting his dick sucked. Judging by Donghyuck’s eagerness to get his cock into his mouth, Renjun was wrong. 

„Uh, alright then“, Renjun awkwardly shuffles on the bed. „Do your worst“. 

„Really?“, Donghyuck asks and he seems to be enlightened. 

Renjun doesn‘t have time to answer him before Donghyuck’s pretty lips close around his dick and oh. This feels nice. It shouldn’t surprise him so much that Donghyuck is good at this, even though Renjun can’t really tell if getting a blowjob feels generally this good or if Donghyuck is just fucking amazing at sucking cock. It’s probably both. 

Either way, Renjun definitely enjoys himself, although the eye contact with Donghyuck is a bit weird. He tries to focus on the feeling of Donghyuck’s slick mouth around his dick instead. Renjun can‘t prevent that his hips buck up when Donghyuck focuses on the really sensitive spot on his head. Donghyuck chokes a bit when Renjun’s cock hits the back of his throat and he’s about to apologize but Donghyuck moans around him and wow, that feels really good. 

Donghyuck pulls away with a pop and Renjun would have laughed at the sound if it wasn’t for the fact that Donghyuck just sucked his dick. „I want you to fuck my mouth“, Donghyuck‘s eyes are a bit teary and his voice sounds rough. His lips are shiny with spit and probably Renjun‘s precome and for some reason he looks very turned on, despite Renjun being the one getting head. Donghyuck is really pretty like that. 

„What?“, is everything Renjun gets out as an answer, partly because he was distracted with staring at Donghyuck and partly because he doesn’t quite get what Donghyuck wants from him once again. 

„I want you to use me, choke me with your cock until I can feel you come down my throat“, Donghyuck doesn’t even blush while saying those words. 

„Okay, uhm, wow“, Renjun stutters because again, it’s a lot. At least Donghyuck knows what he wants and he’s not afraid to voice it and again, whatever Donghyuck wants, Donghyuck can get. „I guess I can do that?“

It sounds more like a question but Donghyuck thankfully doesn’t seem to mind, instead he eagerly takes Renjun‘s hand and puts it on top of his head before going back to taking Renjun‘s hard cock into his mouth. Then he waits. 

So, fucking Donghyuck’s mouth it is, huh? Renjun never expected that this is how he would spend his evening. A part of him is still worried about hurting Donghyuck although he kinda figured out that Donghyuck likes that. He experimentally tugs a bit on his hair and Donghyuck hums around him approvingly. 

With one last deep breath, Renjun carefully bucks up into Donghyuck‘s mouth and oh, Donghyuck is  _ really _ good at this. Because when Renjun hits the back of his throat this time, Donghyuck simply relaxes around him and takes him even  _ deeper _ . It feels good, better than Renjun expected. 

Donghyuck makes cute sounds, something between a hum and a whine and Renjun thinks he sounds a bit like the abandoned kitten Jisung found and brought home a few weeks ago and that they couldn’t keep because of Jeno’s stupid cat allergy. It was a sweet kitten nonetheless and - 

_ Okay shit, focus, Huang! Don’t think about kittens while fucking Donghyuck’s mouth.  _

It almost feels like Renjun lost all control over his body, although he’s the one who’s fucking Donghyuck‘s mouth. Physically, he should be the one in control, he should be the one dominating over Donghyuck and his soft lips right now but he isn’t. Renjun isn‘t, because his body is reacting completely different to this situation than his mind does. His mind tells him that this is not a big deal, that this is just Donghyuck, hell, that it even should be weird because it’s Donghyuck. But his body tells him otherwise, it’s reacting exactly how thousands upon thousands years of evolution taught it to react; with physical arousal and the familiar numb feeling of the approaching orgasm in Renjun‘s gut. 

It’s scary. Renjun doesn‘t like to lose control in any way. Especially not over his very own body because this is definitely different from masturbating. This involves another person, it involves Donghyuck, who’s getting him off at this very moment, Donghyuck who unknowingly snaches a huge part of Renjun‘s autonomy away right now. It’s scary and Renjun thinks that if this was with any other person but Donghyuck, he already would have freaked out and left the room a long time ago.

It’s bearable with Donghyuck, because Donghyuck has known Renjun for a long time and Renjun has known Donghyuck for equally as long. Renjun knows that he can trust Donghyuck with this (Donghyuck is already trying so hard to give Renjun at least a bit of the feeling back that he’s in control, even though it doesn’t work as well as he had hoped for). 

He grabs Donghyuck‘s hair tighter, trying a bit desperately to somehow ground himself, to get rid of the helpless feeling but it doesn’t work, Donghyuck moans around him again and it sends waves of pleasure through his body. Renjun knows Donghyuck doesn’t do it on purpose but that doesn’t help him at all.

As good as it feels, Renjun just wants it to be over. 

He closes his thighs around Donghyuck‘s head, his blurry gaze wandering over to the candles on the desk because Renjun can’t deal with looking at Donghyuck right now. Maybe he could just imagine that he’s just jerking off, that no other person is involved, that Renjun is still the one who‘s got both of his hands on the steering wheel. 

Renjun knows that he could just pull Donghyuck away and ask him to stop and Donghyuck would compile without asking any questions. But right now it feels like while he knows he still technically has both hands on the steering wheel, his vehicle is driving on an icy road, slithering around uncontrollably and heading for the edge of a cliff that’s Renjun‘s orgasm. 

For Renjun, it’s a relief when he finally comes. Not only because he physically yearned for it but also because it means that he’s slowly gaining back the control over his limbs, his body, his entire lower half and that feels almost better than the orgasm he just had. 

Donghyuck sits up with a grin and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, as if he just swallowed chocolate coated strawberry and not Renjun‘s fucking cum. It’s a bit gross- who is he kidding, it’s not just a bit gross, it’s nasty beyond belief. 

„That was good“, Donghyuck says and leans forward to kiss Renjun. 

„I feel like this should have been my part to say“, Renjun mutters right before Donghyuck‘s lips meet his and holy fuck, if he thought Donghyuck swallowing his load was gross than this is disgusting. Renjun can taste himself on Donghyuck’s tongue and it takes a lot for him to not throw up into Donghyuck‘s mouth. 

He pulls back with a disgusted expression. „That’s gross“, Renjun says and it earns him a chuckle from Donghyuck. 

„What were you expecting, sweetie? You basically live off frozen pizza and Jeno’s ice cream“. 

„Whatever“, Renjun grumbles and he’s a bit pissed because he knows that Donghyuck is right. Eating healthy is not a thing that Renjun does but he’s trying, okay. Last week, he even had a salad for lunch (which was a very unsatisfying meal, to be honest). 

When Renjun comes back to reality with his thoughts, he realizes that he’s (once again) out of moves. Kissing Donghyuck is not something he wants to experience again, not before Donghyuck hasn’t brushed his teeth and rinsed his mouth with listerine. 

„What now?“, he asks, looking a bit unsure at Donghyuck, who’s still sitting in front of him, the flickering light of the candles on his desk casts dancing shadows onto his golden skin. Renjun thinks that it’s funny how Donghyuck can look so innocent and objectively seductive at the same time. 

„Whatever you want“, Donghyuck‘s voice is dark and promising and a little hoarse from the blowjob he just gave. 

Renjun rolls his eyes. „Yeah, but what would you like me to do?“, he asks and takes in all Donghyuck‘s naked body. He’s really pretty like that. 

„You’re going to figure it out“, is Donghyuck‘s answer and then he leans back onto his elbows, watching Renjun through hooded eyes while biting his swollen bottom lip. It’s a bit too much in Renjun‘s opinion and he rolls his eyes at Donghyuck and his dramatic antics. 

Renjun hesitantly reaches forward to let his hand trail over Donghyuck’s golden chest, making him shiver underneath his touch. They’ve been here, touching Donghyuck‘s naked skin is familiar at this point and the heat of his body is kinda pleasant against his fingertips. It also gives Renjun a bit of time to think, to process everything that just happened and to consider his next step. 

This might be the first time that he’s glad Donghyuck likes to share his sexual experiences with all of them, Renjun thinks. This way he has a rough idea about what’s going to be enjoyable for Donghyuck and what‘s not. On the other hand, as far as Renjun is concerned, there’s not a lot of things on the „not-side“ for Donghyuck, he’s just one of these people who can enjoy almost everything that includes sex. 

So Renjun gently kisses a trail down from Donghyuck‘s shoulder to his navel, his hand jumping down to his knee to make its way upwards, to where Donghyuck craves his touch the most. His skin tastes salty from sweat, which is a bit gross but not as gross as kissing Donghyuck right now so Renjun can deal with that. 

Donghyuck arches his back underneath him, trying to get Renjun‘s lips and hands even closer to him but Renjun stubbornly lays a hand over the soft expanse of his belly to press him back into the mattress. A whine leaves his lips when Renjun pulls back a little bit, leaving his fingers on the sensitive skin on his hips, mindlessly drawing circles and patterns onto the gold. 

Renjun thinks that this is easy now. Touching Donghyuck is easy, drawing a small moan from him when he presses his fingernails into his hip is easy, riling him up impossibly more is easy. Taking control from Donghyuck is easy, giving him control not so much. Renjun likes this better; to watch Donghyuck slowly fall apart under his touch, to observe every small reaction Donghyuck shows. 

„You’re being a fucking tease“, Donghyuck complains but Renjun just smiles and ignores him. 

„Be quiet, I‘m still figuring it out“, he says and watches how Donghyuck throws his head back in frustration. He’s not really figuring anything out anymore but Renjun likes to take out the rushed pace a bit. This might be the only time he’s ever going to have sex, so why not take it slow? 

With Donghyuck underneath him at Renjun‘s mercy he feels weirdly close to him. If he’s honest, Renjun is surprised how much Donghyuck trusts him once again. Because Donghyuck is offering literally everything to him right now by telling him he’s going to „figure it out“. 

It’s like he’s saying „go have fun with me, do whatever you want, I‘m giving myself to you“ and that’s impressive. Renjun thinks Donghyuck deserves a reward for this. 

So Renjun finally has some mercy and lets his hand wander over to Donghyuck‘s erection, tugging on it once, twice, providing him a bit of the touch he craves so badly. Donghyuck is so much more into all of this than Renjun could have imagined. He throws his head into the mattress, back arching beautifully into Renjun‘s touch and a deep moan escapes his lips once again. 

„Renjun!“, Donghyuck‘s voice sounds breathless and Renjun watches how Donghyuck slowly loses even more of his self control. 

Renjun hums without really replying to Donghyuck. He knows that Donghyuck is probably past a point where the words coming out of his mouth really make sense. 

Touching Donghyuck‘s dick isn’t really that different from touching his own, except that he doesn’t feel his touch, obviously. It’s not that weird to be honest, even though Renjun is going to admit that it‘s a bit awkward, but maybe that’s just because he never touched another dick before. 

Despite the impressive amount of precome, there isn’t really enough lubrication to comfortably give Donghyuck a handjob and Renjun knows that Donghyuck has a bottle of lube somewhere laying around here. In fact he knows that Donghyuck is keeping a box underneath his bed and that its contents contains amongst other things an impressively large bottle of lube. Said „other things“ prevent Renjun from reaching for the box; he‘s not about to get traumatized. Again. 

Also, now that he has a hand on Donghyuck‘s dick, he doesn’t really want to get it off again plus, Renjun is lazy, so he offers his palm to Donghyuck. 

„Spit“, he orders and Donghyuck looks at him with big, surprised eyes. Renjun rolls his eyes and waves his hand impatiently in front of Donghyuck‘s face. „Come on, do I have to repeat myself?“

Donghyuck quickly shakes his head before following Renjun‘s order. He spits into Renjun‘s hand and well, on the second thought, Renjun might have preferred to see Donghyuck‘s dark, kinky sex-box again instead of having his drool in his hand but now it’s too late anyways. 

He pulls a grimace but still puts his hand back to Donghyuck‘s by now angrily flushed cock. It’s a lot easier to move his hand up and down now. 

„Good?“, he asks although again, Donghyuck‘s closed eyes, furrowed eyebrows and slightly fallen open mouth are already telling him the answer to his question. It’s more an offer for Donghyuck to tell Renjun how exactly he likes it but as always, Donghyuck doesn’t tell him anything. 

He just nodds and bites his lip before a muttered „more“. 

Fine, Renjun thinks. Donghyuck can have more, he picks up his pace a bit, experimenting with occasionally letzing his thumb slide over Donghyuck’s head. It’s either that Renjun is better at giving handjobs than he expected or that Donghyuck is exaggerating his reactions because there is no way a bit of dick touching can turn Donghyuck into the moaning mess he is right now. 

For a while, he carries on like that, Renjun even lets his second hand join the fun and explores the feeling of Donghyuck’s balls in his hand (warm but weird) for a bit and then lets it travel a bit further, over the soft skin between his balls and his asshole. Donghyuck definitely enjoys it and Renjun considers fingering him just to see what it’s going to do for Donghyuck but he decides against it. He doesn’t want to go  _ there _ and also that would mean he would have to get lube and yeah, that’s not something Renjun looks forward to. 

But, Renjun is slowly getting a bit bored because let’s face it: jerking Donghyuck off is not that exciting. His mind drifts off to when Donghyuck sucked his dick and how much he seemed to enjoy it and Renjun wonders how it would feel like to suck Donghyuck‘s cock. It’s not that he‘s super keen on doing it, but he figures that since he’s already here he could give it a shot and draws his hand back. 

It earns him a small protesting sound from Donghyuck right followed by a surprised gasp when he hesitantly leans forward. 

„Renjun, what are you- oh fuck,  _ Renjun _ !“, he calls out and Renjun would smile triumphantly but he can’t. 

It‘s not what Donghyuck made it seem to be, he realizes after the first usure lick. It’s just as gross as Renjun thought it would be and over all not enjoyable, 0/10, wouldn’t recommend under any circumstances. 

But maybe it’s going to be different when he actually takes Donghyuck into his mouth. Renjun doesn‘t really think that it’s going to change anything but he’s confident enough to try it once, so he swallows his doubts and also Donghyuck‘s cock. 

Now, that doesn’t work out as planned because not only did Donghyuck make it seem a lot nicer than it is, he also made it seem a lot easier. 

Renjun‘s throat closes protestingly around Donghyuck‘s dick, making Renjun choke and gag and gasping for air and he quickly pulls back, trying to catch his breath while simultaneously not throwing up all over Donghyuck’s bed. 

„What the fuck?!“, he gasps out once he can more or less breathe again. 

„You good over there?“, Donghyuck asks but he doesn’t sound too concerned. 

„Yeah, fuck you“, Renjun rolls his eyes. „You almost made me suffocate on your dick, idiot“. 

Donghyuck snickers at that but gets cut off right away by Renjun‘s hand around his cock because that’s just one of the advantages to have Donghyuck naked and horny in his bed: Renjun can shut him up whenever he wants to. 

Since his last experiment failed so horribly, Renjun decides to just stick with plainly jerking Donghyuck off. If Donghyuck likes sucking dicks then that’s okay but Renjun is not going to repeat that experience ever again in his life, thank you very much. 

Thankfully, Donghyuck seems to be perfectly fine with a handjob as well, judging by the way his breath picks up evenly to the pace of Renjun‘s hand. 

„Come on, Hyuck“, Renjun urges him and leans forward to kiss along his neck and collarbone while his other hand goes back to drawing patterns on Donghyuck’s hip bones. It shouldn't take a lot for Renjun to push him over the edge, he knows. 

Donghyuck whines in response and Renjun quickens the pace a bit again and bites into the sensitive skin on Donghyuck’s neck, right where he can feel his pulse against his lips. 

With a last cry, Donghyuck comes all over Renjun‘s hand and his stomach. 

Renjun flinches, he didn’t really anticipate the mess Donghyuck would make and how his hand is soaked into wet, hot cum, which is really nasty. There aren’t really any wipes laying around to Renjun opts for Donghyuck‘s sheets and that’s probably just equally nasty but Renjun doesn’t care. Not his sheets, not his problem. 

„Was that okay?“, Renjun asks and he hates how tiny and unsure he sounds. But honestly, who can blame him? Donghyuck had a lot of sex and Renjun didn’t. He also knows that Donghyuck’s usual partners are not asexual, so forgive him when he feels a bit unsure of himself. 

„Okay?“, Donghyuck snorts while trying to catch his breath. „It was pretty fucking amazing if you ask me“. 

„Really?“, Renjun peaks up. Donghyuck looks at him with furrowed eyebrows and glassy eyes. 

„I mean it wasn’t the best I‘ve ever gotten but definitely far from the worst“. 

„I can live with that“, Renjun decides and then stares up to the ceiling, trying to process what the fuck just happened. 

They stay silent for a few minutes. 

„How was that for you?“, Donghyuck carefully asks and turns his head to look at Renjun. Now he looks equally unsure as Renjun did just a couple of minutes ago. Renjun thinks that it’s because Donghyuck is used to be good at sex and normally, the people Donghyuck sleeps with show him that in a different way than Renjun did. 

„It was…“, Renjun searches for words, „interesting. I feel like I got a lot closer to you, it was nice to know that you trusted me enough to do this with me and it felt good to be in control“. 

„But…?“

„I still don’t get it“, Renjun shrugs. Something inside of him is relieved and maybe, just maybe Renjun was afraid that he would enjoy sex with Donghyuck a bit too much. „Other than the feeling of intimacy and being close to a person that’s important for me, sex isn’t that great“.

„Did you like it?“, Donghyuck asks and there is only curiosity, no insecurity. Thankfully, Donghyuck knows that he’s good at sex, he doesn’t need Renjun out of all people to confirm that. 

„It was okay“, Renjun says and that might even be an understatement. He liked it more than he expected, just not in the same way as Donghyuck. „Remember what I told you about sex being like taking vitamins for me? I mean I benefit from it, after an orgasm I feel better but sex is honestly just the price I have to pay for it“. 

Donghyuck hums. „I think I get it“, he pauses. „I can’t relate, because an orgasm for me is just like the cherry on top, but I get it“. 

„I see“, Renjun feels how sleep is starting to creep up into his tired bones. He always gets like that after an orgasm and he really doesn’t want to fall asleep in Donghyuck’s bed. „I think it’s impressive how you’re able to open up like that to complete strangers. I couldn’t do that, for sure“. 

Donghyuck chuckles. „To be honest, I usually don’t have sex like that with my hookups. This was more like making love than fucking“. 

„You’re making this weird again, Hyuk“, he half heartedly punches Donghyuck’s shoulder. 

„But I love you, Injunnie“, Donghyuck whines and clings onto him with his sweaty, dirty, hot, golden skin. It’s disgusting and Renjun only can take so much physical affection on one evening. 

„Fuck off“, Renjun mubles and pushes Donghyuck. „You used up your monthly allowance of hugs for this month“. 

„Does that mean we get to do that again next month?“, Donghyuck excitedly pushes himself up. „If I give up my hug-privileges, will you have sex with me again?“

Renjun grimaces. „Maybe not next month. You can ask again in half a year and perhaps, I‘ll consider it“. The thought of having sex again so soon isn’t really that appealing to Renjun, even though it wasn’t exactly a bad experience. 

Donghyuck whines and clinges even more onto Renjun. 

„Okay, how about that: If I ever get the urge to have sex again, I‘m going to let you know“, he proposes. Renjun thinks, that if he has sex, then Donghyuck is the person he would like to have sex with the most. 

„Yes!“, Donghyuck contently snuggles even closer, ignoring the fact that Renjun tries to kick him before he suddenly jerks up again. „Wait a second! Does that mean never again?“

„Fuck off, Donghyuck“, Renjun says and stands up. He likes Donghyuck, but he prefers to sleep in his own, clean bed. It’s okay though, because Donghyuck prefers sleeping in a separate room from Renjun, because sometimes, Renjun snores a bit and Donghyuck is a light sleeper. 

„Love you too, Injunnie!“, Donghyuck calls out right before Renjun shuts the door behind him. 

Maybe, Renjun thinks, him and Donghyuck are more like a sunset, where bright golden light meets the darkness of the night. 

**Author's Note:**

> Edit: So there will be a second part of this fic but I have currently a lot going on so please have patience. I’m super motivated to write, I just can’t find the time :(


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